Mommy wars. Ever heard the term? It first became popular when writer Leslie Morgan Steiner penned the book “Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families”, but in recent years it has been used to describe a multitude of parenting debates. Formula feeding moms vs. breastfeeding moms. Cloth diapering moms vs. disposable diapering moms Young moms vs. older moms. Mainstream moms vs. natural “crunchy” moms. And it’s really not just a “mom” thing, let’s be honest here it’s more like “parenting wars” than mom wars, and while it’s one thing to have your own beliefs and theories, it’s a whole other deal when parents start shaming one another for their personal choices.
Enough of the “mommy wars”. Enough of the shaming and the judgment and the discord. Parenting is HARD. It’s really freaking tough. It’s wonderful and amazing and incredible but it’s also taxing and scary and the last thing that stressed out parents need is to worry about who is going to be judging them as they do their very best to care for the tiny beings that they love more than life itself.
Don’t even get me started on the shaming that we do to ourselves. Maybe I’m in the minority on this, but I judge myself enough-I don’t need someone else to do it for me. And this brings me to the No Shame Parenting concept and MamaHive. Along with My Life As Maya, I am a resident “Mama Bee” (read: contributor) for an awesome blog composed of various mommies from all over the nation. Together we: have been through 13 pregnancies including two miscarriages; have delivered 10 of those children vaginally and one via C-section; have a combined 125 months of breastfeeding (and still counting); have 25 months of formula feeding (and still counting); have been married a total of 6 times (including one year-long separation); have grown up with 4 younger and 5 older siblings; have 2 vegans and 5 omnivores; have lived in 3 countries; have amassed 8 collegiate degrees. We come from all walks of life, but the thing that we all have in common is that we are parents, and we desperately love our kids. We want the best for them. We all have unique perspectives, parenting techniques, and beliefs, but we all agree that the mommy wars have to stop. The judgment and the finger pointing needs to end. Can we have our own opinions? OF COURSE. Is it fair for us to push our beliefs on others? No way. I still breastfeed my two year old. Does that mean that I judge other moms who decided that breastfeeding wasn’t for them? Nope. Does it mean that I deserve to be judged for continuing to breastfeed? Nope. I am a #NoShameParent, and enough is enough. It’s time that we started spreading a little more love and a little less animosity. So join the movement. More compassion, less judgment. More unity, less separation. More us, less them. We are in this together. Parenthood is a battle, and it takes a village.
So join the movement. Tag your #NoShameParent photos on Instagram and Twitter; send out some love. No shame in yourself. No shaming other parents for the choices they make. No. More. Shame. Make sure you check out our video below as well! It’s a love movement. Get on board.
